Guardian Snow Angel

I'm not writing this post for either of the following two reasons:

• for you to pity my experience
• for you to worry about my future

I'm writing this because I believe in miracles, and I want to share a few.

Today started out as a typical day. I struggled to get out of the warm covers, but groggily got ready for school. Hiram made me a sweet little lunch with the last bits of food we have, and then headed outside to scrape the snow off the car and warm it up for me. He is amazing.

By the time I got outside, the car was warm, visibility was high, and I was ready to go. Then Hiram and I realized his phone was missing. After looking in our snowbank, I mean, parking lot, and our front yard and the sidewalk which Hiram had shoveled, he found it. No harm done! It still works fine. Miracle #1. 

I knew the roads would be a little rough, because it had snowed a couple of inches the night before. The roads were terrible! No plowing or any sign of clearing or salting or anything.

For some reason, I decided to make sure that all of my standard morning preparations were done yesterday. I stayed a little later at school to make sure that all copies were made, all papers were picked up, and that everything was ready to go. Moving at 15mph, it took an hour and twenty minutes to get to school. Usually it takes twenty five. I arrived at school just after the tardy bell rang, but I was fully prepared due to extra effort from the day before. Miracle #2.

All day, I was able to get my classes to focus despite everybody's bursting desire to share personal stories about their commute to school. That was Miracle #3. Especially the part about me not sharing my own personal stories. It was hard. But we focused.

So, school was great. We were sent an email at lunch from another teacher, with the subject line saying, "Hope some of you brought overnight bags..." and the following image of our parking lot:

No, the green car is not mine. Mine was down the row, but was equally covered. In fact, the length of the pile of snow was longer-- about the length OF my car. The snow around my car was at least halfway up my calves, and ... I couldn't get my car out of the parking spot. I considered staying the night, but Hiram had no way to get out to American Fork, and the pipes are frozen in my building (no easy access to running water or plumbing). I stepped out of the car and grabbed the ice-scraper to see if I could dig myself out of the snow.

Then I saw the school janitor in his truck plowing the opposite end of the parking lot. I began walking in his direction, hoping that I could flag him down. Instead, he drove right toward me! He didn't even roll down his window, just pointed to see which car was mine, and began pushing all the snow away. Miracle #4. I could go home. 

I took off my snow-filled boots so that my feet could defrost and called Hiram to say I was leaving. He pleaded, "Be safe." 

I responded, "Don't worry, I will make it home to you."

As I drove home, I was cautious. Both hands on the wheel, watching all the time. I planned ahead by making sure that I was in the lane I needed to be in so that merging was minimal. The roads were so much clearer, but somewhat icy and definitely wet. I made it safely to the freeway, and was taking the University Parkway exit and thinking, "This is great! I'll get home so soon!"

Then I saw brake lights in the distance.

And I tried to slow. I was yards behind the cars, but I wasn't slowing. At all. The car kept moving, trying to swerve into the right lane and I struggled to keep it straight. There wasn't enough distance. I was quickly approaching the back end of a white sedan, and I was not going to stop in time. I knew that without a doubt. Instinctively and still braking, I merged into the right lane. There was nobody in front of me, and I didn't even have time to think if there was anybody coming up behind on the right.

The car finally stopped right next to the white sedan. No contact with barriers or other cars. I inhaled a huge amount of burning brakes and exhaust, and realized that I hadn't been breathing at all. I glanced around, and saw that maybe 50 yards ahead of me, a car had earlier swerved into the shoulder and had stopped. 

I was shocked by what was behind me. So close that I couldn't see his headlights, a man had swerved into the shoulder of the exit so as to let me come in as I was out of control. He had the intuition to watch and move and stop. And he didn't even honk at me. Just waited patiently while I breathed and collected myself and then proceeded forward with the green light. Miracle #5. He is my guardian snow angel.

I should have hit him. Or somebody. I should have been in an accident today like that car in front of me. And not a pretty one like theirs, either.

There are two reasons why I believe I was not:

1. Hiram's prayers. 
2. Terra's service.

Prayer works. I know it does. I am so grateful for Hiram's love and faith. It protected me today. Our Father in Heaven heard his prayers and blessed me because of it. Prayers also comfort. Overwhelmed with gratitude from His protection, I was able to withhold the tears and hyperventilation until I got home. 

Also, I believe with all of my heart that Terra is doing the will of the Father. I'm overwhelmed by her example, and humbled by the fact that her service is blessing me with safety and promise. I believe that it is more because of her sacrifice and less because of who I am that I have been given all of these experiences today.

In a moment when everything was going wrong, miraculous things went right.

Missions and Missing

Terra Bella left on her mission today. We are sooo excited for her! She is already such a strong young woman and I can only imagine how much experience and strength she will gain from this opportunity. I was a stoic during the goodbye's, because she said that crying would make it harder on her. All day I've been so happy for her that I've hardly had the time to reflect on my own emotions.

I've almost sent her texts about 12 times already, and it's only the first 7 hours of her mission. And then I have to remind myself that she won't receive it. I'm also trying very hard to convince myself that half-thoughts that I want to share with her don't merit a DearElder Same-Day Delivery Letter.

I bet she's being swept away by her busy-ness and the excitement of the MTC, and here I am mourning my ability to text her.  I have to admit, I'll also miss her kind-of-awkward-but-also-amusing photos of babies that she claims are Hiram's and my future children (although I won't miss things like the weird naked carrot... not posting that one).

Exhibit A "Wagon Baby"

Exhibit B "Bookworm Baby"

I know truly that the work she is doing is more important than anything she could do here for me. I have to recognize that the needs for Terra in Ohio exceed any of my social media cravings. Terra is going to change the lives of some very very lucky people.

I'll miss her. I'll miss her excitement for life, her easy laughter, her loving heart, and her very strong morals.  When I was younger Terra and I would sing a song with the following lyrics:

"Other times we don't 

get 

along.

There's even times we fight.

But I know

you're always there.

Yes I know

you're always there.

You're my sister.

I love my sister."

I can't wait until I can once again walk down the street arm in arm harmonizing with her. But until then...

A Season of First's

I love Hiram. We have a lot of fun together. Here are some of our "first's"...

1. First time being sick together.

I wrote about this in our couple's journal, but either

a) Hiram got it bad and I got it horribly bad, OR 

b) Hiram is the most patient and selfless person ever and I'm a huge baby.

Considering how Hiram cared for me and made me food and let me sleep and has done the dishes for about 500 loads as well as all the laundry while I cried and slept and rejected food and watched the entire A&E/BBC's Pride and Prejudice and cried some more, I think it's the second option.

What I have learned from this experience: He loves me. I knew that already, but ...  he even sat with me in the clammy doctor's office for three-quarters of an hour listening to a ninth-grade girl with the worst attitude be pretty rude to her mom (who, by the way, asked us if we were "having our first" -- no, that's not one of our first's this post, although I adore babies). That's love, especially when you should be studying for finals instead. 

Our second "first" was a little more expected. Again, not a baby.

2. First Thanksgiving!

Hiram knew I was a little insecure about it. I had never before experienced a Thanksgiving without at least one member of my family... and every single Thanksgiving that I can remember has included my sister, Terra.

But this Thanksgiving I was to be here, and they were to be there. In California. HOURS away.

Hiram's family is wonderful. I don't even think I can call them in-laws. It's too distant. They are so loving and warm and really, my family.

Before we sat down to stuff our tummies with turkey stuffing (that should count as some type of palindromic alliteration), Hiram's mom gave us a lovely devotional with a reminder of what Thanksgiving is all about.

Hiram's sisters, Hannah and Emma, had been spending forever cutting out little leaves, and she provided us with paper and scissors and pencils and pens and glue, and we created this:

They even gave us extra leaves so we can add on it for the rest of our lives. Sure, it may look like we have a lack of gratitude now, but I like the idea that as we grow older our Thankful Tree will be heavier. This will stay up all year long.

Speaking of items I want to stay up all year long... we had our third "first"!

3. First time DECORATING FOR CHRISTMAS!

Okay, I'll be honest. I hope this year's decorating isn't a forecast of years to come. 

My attitude: THIS IS THE BEST LET'S DO IT NOW WHILE WE'RE SICK AT MIDNIGHT!

Hi's attitude: Cebre. There are better things to do. Like sleep.

So, yeah. Both attitudes need to change.

We slept that first night, and then when Hiram went to work the next day I spent a couple of hours creating fake gifts by wrapping old math textbooks with pillowcases and gift-bags and leftover wrapping paper from wedding gifts. Yes, I un-wrap very carefully, and Hiram loves it.

And I think it turned out well.

Below are some of my favorite details.

[Note: I can't find my camera cord. So you get the iPhone version.]

I think my mom made this at Enrichment Night long ago, or something. I love his button-beard.
[Edit: My Aunt Shauna made it and gave it to us for Christmas long ago! Thanks!]

Hiram said we can keep these up all year (and not the REAL Christmas Tree--bummer).
My mom used to have them up in our old house. It reminds me of Fieldbrook.

I wanted our Christmas decorations to be more focused on Christ.
So I found a chalkboard that we originally bought for wedding decorations, and drew on it with white crayon.
It comes off if you scrub. 

Our Aunt Shauna and Uncle Clay gave this to us! Our FIRST ornament! And it's beautiful.

'Tis the Season!